


Numb

by The_WorstWriter



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Basketball, Bisexual, Fuckboy, Humor, I tried?, Multi, School, Sports, Taiwan, badboyfriend, biasedppl, clapbacks, douchebags, friends - Freeform, funny (it's supposed to be), gxg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-04 13:49:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15842577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_WorstWriter/pseuds/The_WorstWriter
Summary: Amanda's family thinks that her feelings shouldn't be allowed...-----Amanda Mainchar is a 7th grader ready to go into middle school. With her best friends Charlotte Lopez, Sallie Hamilton, and Lauren Fields, nothing seemed to be able to go wrong. But Amanda bumps into something that would accidentally become a problem throughout the entire year. And of course, there are bestie problems, awkward upper-classmen problems, and secrets. How would Amanda get through this year?





	1. Chapter 1

That's the thing though right?

You know, standing there, watching the waves batter at your feet and trying to not think those thoughts that destroy you, those thoughts that destruct you, those thoughts that render you useless and make you want to start bawling, right there, in the middle of the beach. 

But you can't do anything about it. All you can do is make it stop.

For a while.

You are grateful for that while. 

You are alone for that 'while', which helps, actually. A lot. So you watch the waves slapping not only the beach but your feet too. And you wonder, "How does the beach take it? Take years of waves slamming against them, washing their essence, their sand, yet still manage to live and survive, without completely disappearing, and still allow humans to put their feet in them?"

Then you think, well, if the waves could survive, then so could you. 

After all, life isn't complete without some depression.

Right?

And that's when you hear her, hear her, the least likely person to be doing so, calling your name. Heck, why is she even here?

"AMANDAAA!!!!!!!" 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flashback from Amanda.

_ 5 years ag _ o

_ "I'm sorry," I sobbed, "it wasn't my choice. I don't wanna go." _

_ Rachel, my best friend, who also had tears streaming down her face, smiled weakly at me. "I know, I know. But please promise me...promise me to take care of yourself."  _

_ Sniffling, I nodded, and as I turned to leave, she grabbed me, pulling something out of her backpack simultaneously.  _

_ "Before you leave, and before I forget, I want you to have this," she said, producing a card.  _

_ It was a card with her face in the front and the year of 2012's calendar printed on the back.  _

_ "This way you'll remember me. And so you can cry every time you see this." _

_ "Wait, one more thing! Hold out your wrist!" _

_ I held it out, and she attached a silver bracelet to it.  _

_ "Never take it off. That way you'll never forget me." _

_ A fresh wave of tears crashed over me, and I grabbed her tighter than ever, aware that we only had 3 minutes left.  _

_ "Have a good life in Taiwan, okay? Just don't forget me." _

_ "Thanks, Rachel. God forbid I ever do that. Don't forget me too." _

 

_ "Girls, 30 seconds!" _

_ Stepping back, I looked at her again, wiped my tears with my left hand, and, extending my right hand, wiped the tears off of her left cheek.  _

_ "See you," I said smiling softly, both of us fully aware that the next time we meet will probably be 2 or 3 years.  _

_ "Bye," she said, sniffling, and hugging each other one more time, we parted. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually loosely based off of parting words with one of my friends when I left Pennsylvania so... sorry. I know it's bad, but the story's starting soon :)
> 
> Thanks for reading, and feel free to leave comments, suggestions, or whatever!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Amanda's first day of school...

Finally, after I've been here for 4 years, something good finally happened: I'm done with elementary.

Even though that meant reshuffling our classes, I was still stuck with some of my stupid bullying classmates.

Anyway, enough about that. My name is Amanda, I'm currently in 7th grade but I'm only 11 (my birthday is September 9th (A/N you know who you are ;))), and I'm one of the most athletic girls in my class. Not trying to sound too egotistical but I used to play football (or soccer, fine), then I switched to basketball two years ago. I'm planning on joining the middle school basketball team this year as I'm old enough, but I think that I'll be the only seventh grader there. It's my 5th year here at this school, National Extremely Prestigious School, the International Overlooked Bilingual Department. My life turned to crap when I moved here but that's another story.

Anyways, back to my bully classmates and my best friends here.

I waited for my best friend, Charlotte, arrive, while plugged into my earphones. That's when I heard someone call my name. Before you wonder how, well, I'm the kind of person who listens to music at a volume where I can hear the music AND listen to the people around me at the same time.

Yes, I'm that weird.

I see one of the most popular girls in our class come over to me. Well crap. We had like ten thousand (or so it seemed) falling-outs.

Anyways, I turned around to find her right in front of me.

"Heyyy Amy!!!" Brittany smiled brightly at me as if we hadn't ended our year together last year with a huge blow up about some random crap. I sighed and pulled my earphones off.

You do not have the right to call me Amy, that's my best friend's privilege. . .

"Hi," I replied rather coldly and was planning on breezing past her without saying anything to her until I saw her hurt expression, and stopped. My brain decided to take that time and flashback to the time if when we were friends.

Sighing inwardly, I said awkwardly, "How was your summer?"

I watched her face brighten noticeably as she got excited.

"I got to go back to California!! It was awesome, you know, and ..."

At this point, I had given up and drowned out her voice, because honestly, it was sort of obvious that I didn't want to listen to her. I just nodded along, occasionally saying mmhm, until she was finally done.

"And how was YOUR summer?" She blabbed on, seemingly oblivious to the way I was acting. "Uh, same old, same old," I said, forcing a smile, just happening to see one of my best friends walk into the classroom behind Brittany and give Brittany a stink eye. "Uhh, I see my best friend! Talk to you later!"

I darted around her and just managed to steady myself before a huge weight knocked me off balance.

"Oomph," I grunted, struggling to breathe as those arms continued to strangle and choke the life out of me.

"Jeez, don't tell me you're going to the bad side and you're not taking me with you," she growled at me, squeezing me tighter. "God, I could smell her perfume from the door, and you guys were like legit across the room!! And I thought you guys were like enemies . . . Jeez, can you two like NOT stay away from each other?!"

"Number one, calm your chills, I am NOT going to be THAT close to her, and I'm not planning to. Number two does she even use perfume?! Number three, get your arms off of me I cannot breathe, Sallie!"

She finally released me, and said, "Well, I pray that you'll answer my question better than you answered hers . . . How was your summer? You barely talked to me throughout vacation!!! And also, no one ever says “calm your chills.’"

I decided to ignore her jab. "Oh, about that . . . "

My brain decided to flash back to a memory . . .

_ July 2016 _

_ "Is it really necessary? It seems so USELESS you guys said she was fine! Besides, we basically spent our whole summer there! We only came back for dad to go to church! I couldn't even get any good night sleep!" _

_ "Amanda you know she's stage four by now, the possibilities of her death are higher than ever. Besides, you know I don't' want to mention all those weird syrups your aunts from HIS side are feeding her," at which Mom stopped and glared at my father, who was bound to explode in 3 . . . 2. . . 1... _

_ "YOU KNOW I DON'T APPROVE OF THAT TOO! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IT COSTS SO MUCH, YOU THINK I WANT HER TO DRINK THAT? IT SMELLS HORRIBLE, AND HAVE YOU SEEN HER EXPRESSION WHEN SHE DRINKS-" _

_ "DAMN RIGHT I KNOW!! THAT'S WHY I THINK YOU ARE SO FREAKING STUPID AND SO SELFISH!! WHY ARE YOU SO SCARED TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT AND STOP WHAT'S WRONG!!! SHE'S YOUR SISTER GOD'S SAKE!!" _

_ "AND WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN THEY ALL THINK THEY KNOW BETTER THAN ME?!" _

_ "THERE HAS TO BE SOMEONE WHO AGREES WITH YOU!" _

_ “BUT THERE ISN'T!!” _

_ At this point, I had dragged my sister away, upstairs to our bedroom. _

_ " We'll be fine . . . we'll be fine. . ." I mumbled to her, sitting on opposite sides of the bed and plugging my earphones into my phone, and handing one of the earbuds to her when I moved over to her side, then we both opened the door to our balcony, to stare at the cars and people and motorcycles going about outside. _

_ After a few hours, our parents came up. "Girls, we're going to leave early tomorrow morning. This will be the last time we visit them, then I will make solo visits to them when school starts,” said my mom. She headed downstairs to go pack. My dad just simply walked in, iPad in hand (as always), and flopped down on the bed. _

"And that's how I spent my summer, basically the entire time in Tainan, which also meant that I couldn't - AHHHHHH!!!!"

Apparently, my other best friend had gotten tired of me talking and 'giving excuses' so she had jumped me.

"GET OFF OF ME WHOEVER YOU ARE!!" I screamed, knowing full well who it was.

"Oh please, you guys, I swear you two are like the most dramatic out of all of us," chided Lauren, my fourth best friend, who is like the calmest and most cool-headed out of all of us. That’s why she’s our squad mother. She’d come in with the person who was currently covering my eyes.

"Come on, don't act like you think she's giving too many excuses," Charlotte shot back, still rubbing her knuckles on my head and messing my hair up.

Now that my friends are here, I should probably give you guys a proper description of them.

Lauren’s sort of the unofficial leader because she's the only one who can keep her head cool about horrible situations. She currently had a boyfriend named Anderson, but she says she doesn’t really want him because she claimed that she had feelings for someone else, Charlotte and I had our suspicions, but we'll talk about that later. To be honest, Anderson was a douche.

 

Moving on, Sallie is our "squad father" because Charlotte and I ship her with Lauren for legitimate reasons. So one day Sallie and I were walking home from her football practice and my basketball class...

 

_ Flashback 2016 _

_ "Amanda . . . I'm going to tell you something because I think you are the most accepting of the group, you will accept me for who I am . . . " _

_ "Sallie, can you cut the crap please, you're sort of scaring me." _

_ "Mandy . . . I think I might be bisexual . . . " _

_ I kept on walking as if she hadn't just told me she 3.5% of people in the world that are part of the LGBT community. _

_ "Mandy . . . you're scaring me!!! I-" _

_ "Calm down Sal, it's fine. But you must have your reasons for telling me that right?" _

_ "Yeah . . . So, I think you might be bisexual too . . . because . . . " _

_ "I know, but let's not worry about that right now." Then I narrowed my eyes. "What made you think you're bisexual?" _

_ She blushed. _

_ "Could you at least answer me?!" _

_ "I think I have feelings for someone . . . " _

_ "Who?" _

_ "Lauren . . . " _

_ I turned and stared at her. _

Flashback ends

I guess there was a part of me that wasn't really surprised. Then I told Charlotte, and we started shipping them together . . . Salren!

Moving on . . .

Charlotte is the most dramatic in the group with me as a close second, and when we're put together we are the most powerful actors in our Music classes. Charlotte is my best friend who came the year I came, we have stuck to each other like glue since. She seems to be straight, and I think she has a crush on someone in our class.

Last but not least, me.

I am the quietest in the group, the second most dramatic, and when you see me I almost always have Charlotte next to me. I'm also the most open-minded and most accepting one, and also the best listener and the best at giving advice, so when the others have any problems they usually come to me first. However, there is one thing about me that no one except Sallie knows. This is my biggest secret, and it's driving me mad with insecurity.

I am confused about my sexuality.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still the first day of school...

In all the excitement about my friends, my new homeroom teacher had to come in, holding a cup of coffee.  
Technically, it wasn't a cup, it was rather a tall, silver-ish thermos that turned into black as it extended towards the top of the thermos.  
The 7:40 bell rang, startling all the students, who had been absorbed in their phones, chatting with their friends, or just putting their books into their lockers or desks. The parents who had been chatting among themselves started to leak out, gathering at the hallways.  
"God, do they know it's only 7:40?" Sallie grouched bemusedly from her spot in Lauren's arms.  
Charlotte and I raised an eyebrow at each other. Sallie and Charlotte couldn't have gotten here for more than ten minutes (Lauren and I had arrived first), and yet here they were: situated in each other's arms. Lauren was sitting on top of my locker, leaning against the window with her legs open of which where Sallie leaned into her, Lauren's arms around her shoulders, head resting on top of Sallie's head, Sallie's hands lightly gripping Lauren's arms.  
Charlotte and I quickly looked away from Salren and chuckled as if we just hadn't assessed their position, saying, "Well maybe they forgot about our bells! After all, it's been a summer, right?"  
Something nagged in my brain. Yeah . . . what happened during summer . . .  
You have to tell them soon, the more rational, more emotional part of me hissed. But, I'm not supposed to tell anyone!! The logical side of my brain shot back. I fought with my heart and my brain, willing for them to shut up, to not show the struggle, the internal fight.  
Of course, I failed.  
My struggle with my emotions must have shown because then Sallie frowned at me.  
"Hey, you okay, Mandy? Your face looks sort of twisted. And you look shaken. . . "  
"W-what? What do you mean? Of course, I'm fine!!" I forced a laugh. "Just a bit worried about school, that's all."  
I felt bad lying to them, but I couldn't tell them. Not yet . . .  
"Aww, don't worry girl. It's a new semester and new step in our lives! New semester, new year, new you, right?" joked Charlotte, seeing my worried expression.  
"Y-yeah, you're right," I lied again, forcing a chuckle that sounded more natural this time.  
Sallie frowned. “I thought it was ‘New year, new me.’ Isn’t it”  
I can decipher pretty much any expression someone has. With that came a little mind reading, but that's not important right now. But the 2nd best face reader glared at me, and I knew I was in some big trouble.  
She continued to glare at me, which made me flinch, but I just swallowed and just started another topic about my summer. Pretty soon, I was able to drop my emotionless mask and chat freely about swimming with Sallie, Charlotte pitching in from time to time. But I couldn't shake Lauren's gaze off of me. She scrutinized my expression like I was some interesting specimen that she couldn't unlock the secret of. Which was sort of true, she didn't know me as well as Charlotte, but I wasn't some specimen scientists peer at under the microscope.   
Oh god, this is uncomfortable and awkward.   
Then I couldn't take it anymore. Making sure that Charlotte and Sallie were absorbed in their conversation about fast food, I made eye contact with Lauren. I guess my eyes must have shown more pain than she expected because her eyes widened and protectiveness instantly surged into her eyes, silently asking me what happened.  
Make that three things to tell them, not just one.  
I mouthed at her grimly, 'Talk to me later. I need to talk to you,' She nodded at me, noticing my seriousness, and looked at me with a guarded expression. 'Me too; mine is really important,' she mouthed back. I nodded, and we both turned our attention to Sallie and Charlotte, who were currently debating the authenticity of the aforementioned Brittany's face.  
"I mean, it's so fake looking, she must have slathered on who knows how many layers of makeup, not to mention the fact that UNDER all that makeup, her face looks so fake. . . " Charlotte was saying . . .   
"IT LOOKS LIKE SHE'S HAD PLASTIC SURGERY!!" both Charlotte and Sallie whisper- yelled together, while Lauren and I stared at them with an annoyed face.   
"Aww, look at our mothers look at us with a patronizing expression and glare at us!" Sallie said chuckling.  
"No ma'am, YOU are the squad father," Charlotte and I said in unison, with me giving her a suggestive look and Charlotte winking at her. Lauren looked down at us, something flashing in her eyes, something that I could decipher.  
Jealousy.  
And that's when my suspicions came true.  
Finally.


	5. Chapter 5

"What's with those knowing looks?" Lauren asked, clearly attempting to be lighthearted. I noticed her jealousy right away, even though it was masked quite well. Very impressive, Lauren. I see our time together and my ‘lessons’ have paid off. But I didn't teach you everything because then you would be able to fool me. But you can't . . .

I shot her a piercing 'we'll talk about that later' look, and said casually, "Oh, just a little inside joke we have." Sallie was blushing crimson red by now . . . Aww, look at that face . . .

Then the 8:00 bell rang. Since today's schedule was slightly different because it’s the first day of school, we started our first class at 8 when we normally start at 8:10.

"Alright class, settle down, please! Return to your seats, I'm so excited for your introductions and to hear about your summers!"

We all grudgingly returned to our seats, got slightly more comfortable and stared at her. I was sitting with Charlotte, Salren sitting together behind me. They're like the touchy-feely kind of people, while Charlotte and I tried not to touch each other unless it was absolutely necessary. But lately, we had started hugging each other more. 

Look, Salren was already resting their heads on each other’s shoulders! Well technically, Lauren was resting her head on Sallie’s shoulder, but they're so cute!!! Although how can they just crush so hard on each other without noticing? I was smiling, so caught up in my thoughts that I nearly missed the teacher's name.

"Good morning everybody, I'm Melissa Fillmore, and you are now in the class of 7B. Not 6A, 6B, nor 7A. You are in 7B." She joked. "Role call!"

"Brandon Whetting!" "Here!" he shouted

"Ada Menst!" She simply raised her hand.

"Sadie Lanks!" "Here!" Great. Another one of Brittany's loud friends.

"Joshua Byst!" "Here!" He grinned lazily. One of Anderson, Lauren's boyfriend's friends.

"Jensen Kyles!" "Hey," he smiled politely. He's one of the nicer boys in our class.

"Brittany Loude!" Oh no, not her. "Here!" she flashed her brilliant white smile at Mrs. Fillmore who seemed to not have any reaction at all.

"Elise Reilly!" "Here!" Another one of Loude's squad members.

"Amy Mallers!" She simply raised her hand like Ada did. Man, those two were like best friends forever or something.

"Morgan Kasts!" And another one of Brittany's squad members. "Here!"

"Anderson Playman!" 'You mean playboy,' I thought annoyed. "Yo, whaddup," he winked at the teacher. Gross. Really, Lauren should just dump him already.

"Clay Morris!" "Here!"

"Gabe Jones!" "Hi!"

"Amanda Mainchar!" "Good morning," I replied politely. She smiled briefly at me before moving on with her attendance sheet.

"Charlotte Lopez!" "Good morning," she said, of which Mrs. Fillmore smiled at as well.

"Sallie Hamilton!" "Mornin'," Sallie said, eliciting another smile. 

"Lauren Fields!" "Good morning Mrs. Fillmore," she returned softly, smiling. Mrs. Fillmore looked over to where we were sitting. She seemed to appraise us, then continued down her list.

"John Arnolds!" Here!"

"Jake Newman!" "Sup teacher!" Anderson's stupid best friend.

"Trent Walker!" "Here!"

"Harley Herman!" "Here!"

"And so, students, you all are the class of 2022. Welcome to class 7B of the National Extremely Prestigious School, International Overlooked Bilingual Department!"

The entire class applauded, while I just unscrewed my water bottle and drank from it. 'Here comes a new school year . . . " I thought to myself. I sipped the water. "Cheers," I mumbled to myself.

Charlotte leaned over to my side and looked at me. We started to stare at each other, each hoping that the other would relent. Yes, we had little-staring contests all the time. We would even distract each other with little comments about each other's eyes.

Of course, me being the quieter and shyer one looked down while she grinned triumphantly.

"After so long, you still lose to me at that game," she said quite arrogantly.

I bit my lip and smiled, chuckling. "Yep." You might beat me at this, but I bet you won't beat me in everything, Lopez. Better not make me mad.

Lauren and Sallie shot me with identical looks of worry. They'd realized the tension between us last year, and this tension seemed to be pushing Charlotte and me apart.

But before I could ponder about that, then came the announcement summoning us to go to our flag ceremony.

Middle school (which is 7th to 9th grade here), and high school (which is 10th to 12th grade) have to wear their uniforms; Middle school white top, a purple skirt for the girls, and dark blue pants for the boys. However, since the 7th graders have just graduated from elementary, and the sophomores have just graduated from middle school, they don't have to wear their uniforms until October, when they should have their uniforms already. 

Anyways, we, being the new middle schoolers, don't have to wear our uniforms because we don't have them yet. 

Middle school and high school sit in the back of the gym, so there was a sea of pink, white, and violet mixed with four lines of people in casual clothes. Our disciplinarian for the year, Ms. Grace, tapped the microphone.

"Okay students, settle down. We'll be starting in 3 minutes. Remember, the faster we get this over with, the faster we can leave!"

Everyone in the room quieted, the chatter dying down as everyone slowly turned to the stage. The lights dimmed, and the voice of the ceremony announcer rang out. Being a bilingual school, half of our introduction was in Chinese. But I mentally translated it into English, being more used to hearing English.

"105 ~ 106 school year's opening ceremony. Let us invite our Principal, ..."

And so it went on. Speeches, awards, until it was finally over. 

I got the Model Student Award, sure. Charlotte got the Citizenship Award, as did Lauren and Sallie. The prizes and certificates usually circled around me getting the Citizenship Award or the Model Student Award. I even got Top 3 once, and so did Charlotte. In fact, all of us did at least once. All of our grades were above average, not bragging, of course. Even though we didn't always get Top 3 or straight A's, we usually got around one or two B's, which were usually Chinese or Chinese Social Studies. 

Anyways, enough about grades. I find them stupid anyways, they're just numbers that are meaningless. 

I refocused my eyes on our disciplinarian, Ms. Lin, who was currently making a speech about how safety is number one and all that crap that every disciplinarian seemed to make every year. Ugh. By the time she was finished, it was 9:57. Finally.

"Now we must rehearse our exits in case of an emergency!" Ms. Lin continued, in a quite cheerful and bubbly tone. She started showing us our exits, and by 10 o'clock sharp, Lauren, Sallie, Charlotte, and I were out and basking in the outside air and sunlight. I blew the hair out of my eyes and closed my eyes, sighing to let my hair down. I usually kept it up in a ponytail, but who says one can't be rebellious today? I'm going to be tied down by homework and responsibilities soon enough anyway. 

I opened my eyes and moved my hair out of my eyes. Lauren, who was walking in the back with me while the other two chatted in the front, turned me around and gently brushed the hair back. She then brushed some of it to the front and looked at me approvingly. 

"You look good with your hair down," she decided. "We'll have to make you do that more often."

I blushed, looking down and hiding my face in my hair. "Yeah right."

Lauren brushed my hair back again. "Hey, I just did that!" she admonished gently. 

I sighed. Well, I guess there isn't a harm of putting it down for the rest of the day. It's not like there was P.E. today, in fact, today's classes were all mellow. 

I ran my hair through my hair, unconsciously flipping it all to one side.

"I'm totally ready for school today! Let's do this!"

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually my first work and I'm still surprised that it took me that long to upload this on Archive of Our Own. Anyways, all of the other chapters will be longer than this.


End file.
